I'm changing my lj name tomorrow to something... newer.
^_^

Some green lol-pills and a nice shiney new ring.
It's pretty cool fitting over the finger like a jointed armour piece. I adore it. :D

So long story short, I've had a couple of good days, which has been a relief.  Sometime with my Dad who is awesome beyond words. I get all my weirdness from him. ^_^ And a day today with Jess and Emm, meandering, shopping and being girls. :P
I think today I was actually happy.

And tomorrow, more friends, we're going to see a movie and hang out. More happy, I hope.

Next week? Dreamworld. Heh, roller coasters should cheer me up.


All  I want to say is Thank You. Thank you for telling me I'm wanted here because sometimes I need to be reminded. Thank you.

Love.

I think the question I should be asking is; Am I really wanted here?

I get the feeling sometimes that those on my f-list aren't as fond of me as I am of them.

Could be paranoia. Could be true. Either way I want to apologise for not being.... whatever you believed me to be.


I'm adjusting to my meds. mmm, meds. I haven't been out much but I'm starting to recognise the signs of a panic attack. Crowds of people set it off. Not fun at all. But I'm getting better. I actually had a decent shift at work today. My managers have been amazing and very supportive. :D
Another thing that I'm not enjoying is the insomnia. Meh, I get time to game and think and write.
Oh yes, I'm planning of shifting courses from Games Design to Fine Arts.
I've been talking to a great deal of conceptual artists online at Conceptart.org and the like the one of the more common bits of advice I get aside from practise, practise and more practise is Fine Arts. Learn art, understand it, practise it, live it.

So I'm calling someone tomorrow and talking to them about it. Kay, my life drawing teacher who has been amazing for me artistically. :D

I feel it will be of the good for me.

Also... I've noticed a distinct drop in appetite. I'm eating a great deal less than I used to and I think I've already lost some weight. O.o

Oh yes.
For those who actually read my lj and like game music, mosey over to ocremix.com.
I've been doing little  but listening to their FFVII and Doom albums over the past few days. Some of their tracks are really REALLY amazing. Like... WOW. Worth checking out.

Maybe I should actually write something worth reading,ne?

I haven't.... till yesterday.

I'm not enjoying my meds. I can't sleep, I'm barely hungry, I feel the urge to run into traffic (not for shits and giggles either) and I have panic attacks.I missed tonights shift of work because I was hunched over in some city street crying and shaking beside the road. If Jess and Em weren't there I would've dived infront of a car just to make it stop. I was scared. Terrified.

All I can do is hope that I can get better.

Depression. Not fun.

Ye sthe advertised awesome stuff, I has it.

Remember the BRM pics I got from Sydney?
Here they are!!!

First one of seen fairly often:
Ain't he dashing?

And second: I've never seen this one before now so here it is larger for better viewing.


*flangirly flail*

And now for those that have been waiting. I am working on my doujinshi, heres the chapter cover for the Prologue.Uninked and still a sketch but there it is. Thoughts?

Well...
First the most recent bit of news. I saw a Doctor today (well... yesterday. Wednesday.)I'll be seeing a psychologist soon. In the meantime I'm on what I and my friend Jess affectionally refer to as 'lol-pills'. Lovan prescribed for depression and OCD. Essentially mood stabalisers that ironically have the side effect of increased suicidal thoughts. Also...anxiety is a big one for the first month or so. And I work at Maccas. Fun.

At least I have a reason for passing out.

Anyways
I had a bad weekend last week.
At work.

( Click for bad bad bad work days )


Anyway, next post shall have pictures of.... stuff. :D


Also it's winter here in Aus. And freezing. XD

Well that was on hell of a weekend.

( Dammit, I'm a cosplayer not a Doctor! )
It was... well.. brutal and I'm tired wrecked, I need a holiday from my holiday and...

Yeah. Missed you guys. Ima need sometime to catch up. ^^

You know how sometimes people on your friends-list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out.


1. First Name: Cassandra. Yes my side thingy says Willow, but that's an old nickname I use instead of my real name. Which I like better. Though I'll soon be using the moniker of 'Marigold' more than Willow. You'll see why.

2. Age:19

3. Location: Brisbane, Australia. Well... in the Brisbane City Council Area. Just.

4. Occupation: Ah... Student, Artist, Cosplayer (Yeah I'm considering that an occupation. I've been doing it at a near weekly basis with a fellow cosplayer and artist with aims to bring cosplay into local art. :B) and Maccas Girl. Pbth

5. Partner:  Right now? None. Hopefully soon I'll have one but as of yet... I ish alone.


6. Kids: None.


7. Brothers/Sisters: Heh, only child and glad for it considering the smeg I've heard. That and I don't think Dad could handle more than one of me.


8. Pets: One. My beautiful fairy cat/tuxedo cat named The Doctor. I adore him, he's sweet and affectionate and very well behaved.
Must get pictures to show you.


9. List 3-5 biggest things going on in your life right now:

1:Sydney Supanova. First time I'll be travelling out of state alone with only my two friends with me. First time at a hotel room without family, and of course it's a whole new city that none of us really know well so... yeah. Plus I shall be McCoy so thats big.
2: Final weeks of uni. I need to get things sorted out and I need to decide what I'm going to do next semester. I think I can pass at least two of my subjects this semester but.... we'll see.
3:7thEdge. friends, I have finally decided upon my professional artist/etc name, 7thEdge. I've got a logo that features a stylised Marigold (being the flower of my birth month, October and the symbol that best expresses my life and my state of mind currently. And it's not just Despair no matter what Kira Izuru tells you. ;P) So I'll be slowly transferring all my emails and dA accounts, etc over to this new one. Whether I'm getting a new LJ account remains to be seen.
4: Cosplay. When I started, I loved it even if I am a rather big girl. I still love it and I still do it regardless of my size. Coming up are some very tricksy cosplays ahead, most of which I'd rather not do while this unfit, and meanwhile I spend nearly every frieday out with Emma and Jess running about in costume taking pictures  and planning events (like gallery's and culture parties) To be honest, it's keeping me going.
5: The Dark Waters Doujin.
My big Bleach fic has become a doujin that I plan to release in small segments as I work upon it. Maybe like four pages or so a week. I've got most the plot sorted, now I'm just tidying up my plans for the individual threads and character arcs. It won' even come close to Kubo or I think any other webcomic out there but hey, I like what I have so far. I would like to talk to someone about said plot and see what they think. Also... if I remember, when I get back from work this evening, I'll scan the cover for chapter one and post it for you guys. If anyone's interested.


10. Parents:
My Dad, David.
He's a good man, better than most and I know without a doubt that everything good in me, my integrity, my honour, of sense of right and wrong and my compassion, all found it's start in him. I love him and he is the one person in the world I trust without hesitation.


11. Who are some of your closest friends?

Online:

Probably denshi_no_ultra . You've giving me such supporting words when I was at my darkest. Thank you so much, hun. And Also aqouli . You know what you mean to me (actually you probably don't but thats ok) so thank you. *hugs*

But really... I adore you all. ^_^

RL:

emeryboard and jueru2003 
^_^

Im just watching what I can find of the last Bleach Rock Musical and ... *sighs*

WHY DOES EIKI (Kira) HAS TO BE SO FRIGGIN CUTE?! GYAAA!

For you viewing pleasure... his cuteness and the most hilarious thing I have ever seen on stage (aside from Trekky Monster)
The shinigami Womans ASsscioation...

and then the Shinigami Mens Association. Plus shirtlessness. XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahzIZLPq-nM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuNcvW1boL4